He told me to forget about him, but I couldn’t

Stephanie Goodwin in Fabulous, February 2011 Fabulous - February 2011
By Stephanie Goodwin, 28

Stephanie Goodwin, 28, knew her marine boyfriend was The One, then he went to war...

My words hung in the air and I knew he wasn’t going to say it back, not now, and not any time soon. But I refused to give up because deep down, I knew that although Tristan, now 30, was nervous of commitment, he did feel something. Little did I know what it was going to take for him to realise he loved me too, though.

He told me to forget about him, but I couldn'toverlay
Stephanie Goodwin in Fabulous, February 2011

After six months of dating, I needed to know if he really loved me, so I confronted him. ‘Where are we going?’ I demanded. Taking a deep breath, Tristan looked at me, then explained he didn’t want to settle down while he was in the Royal Marines. He’d seen the stress it caused his colleagues when they had girlfriends back home, and he’d heard them having ferocious rows during precious phone time. Being in love was a big distraction when working in a life-or-death situation, he said. If we got serious he’d worry about me too much, plus he didn’t want me to be waiting for his calls or dreading the news every night. Most importantly, he didn’t want me to be burdened with looking after him if he was injured in service. It hurt me beyond belief, but at least I knew why he seemed to be both in love with me and distant…

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